Mechanical Love Fighters
1. Flight north-northwest
Upon returning from his chilly and eventful vacation Robotprins finds a mysterious note evily nailed to the front door of his mechanical house.
At first this worries Robotprins, but when he reads the message he notices to his surprise that it is one of a joyful nature.
The note reads: "hello mr stupid robotprins! there is a cool present waiting for you in the far north-northwest so come get it asap, idiot!
This is not a trap and totally a real gift. xxoo not ondman. ps. the gift is even cooler if you come unarmed. ds."
"what a thoughtful and weird message" Robotprins thinks to himself without doubting the senders true identity and purpose.
Robotpudding on the other hand is not a moron and tries to warn Robotprins with various ominous bleeps and bloops. But before the tiny robotic dessert manages to produce any sound Robotprins grabs him and puts him to compass mode. this disables all of Robotpuddings features and turns him into nothing more than your run of the mill compass. After Robotprins figured out his course he opens up a big box he bought on his way home from the mountains. the contents are something amazing and as we all know amazing things are usually jetpacks.
Robotprins straps it on and flies with great speed and wonder through the blue skies in the cardinal direction north-northwest.
2. PUNCHMACHINE
After flying north a lot and also a little bit west Robotprins notices something that looks like a gigantic present on the ground and he lands just beside it.
He has traveled far and come to a foreign land he knows nothing about, but yet he doesn't fret. 'cause he really likes presents. Robotprins removes his detachable robotarms, as instructed in the note, and walks up to the gargantuous gift with Robotpudding still in the form of a compass.
SHAKABOOMDIBOOM! There is smoke and confetti everywhere as the present blows open. Robotprins is ecstatic, but soon his excitement turns to dread as he hears a familiar, evil laugh. As the dust settles Robotprins sees his arch nemesis riding a terrifying punchmachine where the present was just moments ago.
"here is my gift for you, silly robotfartface!" Ondman proclaims as he turns on his punchmachine.
A horrible roar echoes through the forest as dozens of boxing gloves frenetically starts punching air while slowly closing in on Robotprins.
"I am a hero and I fear no evil as I know good will always win in the end! eat laser evil dude!" Robotprins shouts and runs up towards the jabbing apparatus.
But just as he's about to fire his cool lasers he remembers that he is totally unarmed and without laser shooting arms it is quite difficult to shoot lasers.
Robotprins doesn't even have the time to say "uh oh" before he is bombarded with a copious amount of blows to his defenseless body.
Unable to block the punches Robotprins is thrown through the air and lands on the ground like a poorly made rag doll. Defeated in an instant.
Ondman on the other hand is very pleased with his machine of punch death and moves in for the final blow with a devilish smirk on his face.
With Robotpudding in compass mode the once so confident Robotprins looses all hope and prepares to meet his destiny.
Is this it? Is this the end for our brave hero?
3. mechanical love fighters
No. Of course not. We still have several songs left on this album, you know.
SWISH! in an instant Robotprins is jerked from the ground and saved from the punches of doom.
What just happened? Robotprins notices that he is now standing and someone is standing just behind him so he turns around to see whom it is.
What he sees is nothing less than the most beautiful girl he has ever laid eyes on. She looks like a princess. Or a robot. Then it dawns on him. she is a Prinssesrobot. And she literally swept him on his feet.
"you forgot these." she says as she blushingly hands Robotprins his hands. as well as his arms which are attached to the hands.
as she helps Robotprins reattach his arms sparks fly, both literally and figuratively. if there ever was such a thing as destiny this is...
"hellooooo!! robutts!! stop ignoring me and falling in love!"
Ondman screams as he turns up the punchiness of his machine to max.
Robotprins and Prinssesrobot look deep in each others eyes and nod in agreement.
In the exact moment before the jabs from Ondmans machine are about to hit they
quickly dodge them and dash in different directions at incredible speed.
they move gracefully like a perfectly choreographed dance to each side of the punchmachine and do some laser stuff so it explodes with a BANG and a BOOM that send Ondman flying so far away that no one really cares what happens to him.
Besides, the remaining two are far more busy with other things.
You know. Love and stuff.
4. The hunt for robotpudding
So now they are mrs mchoneyface and mr lovalova. A story of true love without any problems forever and everer. Or so they believe in that very moment.
They walk back together hand in hand to where our hero left Robotpudding.
But something very strange is happening to Prinssesrobot when Robotprins turns his trusty companion back to Robotpudding mode.
Her eyes widen to the point of crazy eyes and rusty saliva starts dripping from her mouth. She is like possesed.
It turns out that Robotprins' new love has a deep, dark secret know to only about a handful of persons. And none of them are a half robot half prins she just met.
This secret is that Prinssesrobot has a tooth especially programmed for sweets. a so called sweet tooth. This sweet tooth make her unable to resist any mechanical sweets and she will go totally berserk until she has devoured the sweet at hand.
oh no! Robotpudding is in danger.
Prinssesrobots and Robotpuddings eyes meet and our friendly dessert notices from her fiery gaze that something is amiss. She grabs at Robotpudding with a great frenzy, but he quickly jumps aside and fearing for his life runs into the woods.
Prinssesrobots level of insanity hits the roof in an instant and she lets out a horrifying, but at the same time kind of cute, roar and rushes after Robotpudding mumbling something about feasting on robotflesh.
Robotprins just stands there speechless. What is happening?
Is this the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with? She seems kinda crazy. But then he realizes she just wants something sugary to nibble on.
But it ain't gonna be our lovable sidekick Robotpudding! That Robotprins is going to make sure of. At the same time, deep in the woods, Robotpudding is running as fast as he can on his tiny... legs? Well. On his tiny whatever puddings use to run with.
Behind him chases a completely mad, sweet craving Prinssesrobot who is slowly, but surely gaining on her target. Robotpudding is overcome by total desperation as he realizes he can't possibly outrun her and it's only a matter of mere seconds before he will become victim to this lunatic and her incredible toothsome desires.
But just as Prinssesrobot gets in reach of the pudding a familiar face shows up right in front of her. At first she is irritated by his appearance that prevent her from reaching her eagerly awaited dessert. but she soon notices something.
Her lover has not arrived empty-handed. In his hand he holds a delicious looking machine tarte that he made himself with nothing but the remains of Ondman's punchmachine and whole lotta love.
The color in Prinssesrobots eyes goes from bad crazy to good crazy and she is overwhelmed with happiness. She doesn't waste any precious time and gobbles down the cake in the blink of an eye. Robotprins is surprised by her appetite, but is happy and relieved when he sees the madness escape from her face as she breaks into an adorable smile. They hug and everyone is happy. Prinssesrobot promises to never try to eat Robotpudding ever again and that is a promise she will keep.
5. ERROR 420N: broken heart
The two lovebirds start to spend a lot of time together and they continue to fight against evil as one. With the power team of two awesome robot fighters all of Ondman's attempts to cause mayhem are easily averted.
It is apparent to Ondman that in order to have any chance of evil success he has to break the two apart and he soon comes up with a heinous scheme and sets it into action. On a lovely summers day there's a knock on the door of Prinssesrobot's house. She opens it, but whoever had knocked had disappeared.
A shadow runs of in the distance. but Prinssesrobot does not care a bit because right before her eyes is a giant bowl of ice cream made of all different kinds of gadgets and thingamabobs.
"thank you for the ice cream, mr shy guy" she gratefully hollers after the dark figure before she goes to town on the mountain of icy sweetness.
Little does she know the ice cream was sent there by none other than our antagonist Ondman. The first few scoops are pure joy for her, but all of sudden she starts to feel weird. What is this feeling? all the love and happiness she felt since she met Robotprins are fading away and turning into... HATE!
Darkness and resentment has corrupted her once pure heart and she suddenly finds Robotprins ugly and fart smelling. But why? And how? That I will tell you.
Turns out Ondman put a tiny robot in the ice cream that once inside Prinssesrobot reprogrammed her robotic brain into feeling hate against the things she once loved and fondness for the things she once despised.
That's right. She now likes Ondman and thinks he has a sweet badonkadonk.
When he sees the effect of the reprogramming the villain appears from out of the shadows flaunting his boombastic butt at the girl.
"you likey?" he asks. She answers with a firm nod.
"sweet potatoes! well, on to more important issues. I need you to go to Robotprins and tell him about your new found feelings of contempt for him.
but don't defeat him physically yet. only mentally. I want him to suffer as he has made me suffer." He forebodingly explains to Prinssesrobot.
"sure whatevs." She replies and hurries of to the house of Robotprins who has no idea of the enormous hurt and suffering that awaits him.
"knock knock!"
"who's there?"
"Prinssesrobot."
"Prinsesrobot who?"
"Prinssesrobot doesn't love you anymore. that's who, stupidface!"
Robotprins doesn't understand what is happening. Is this a joke? Prinssesrobot's face tells otherwise.
"what do you mean? what is wrong? what happened to you?"
He desperatly asks.
"I just don't like you anymore. I find you as appealing as a rotten pile of garbage. the ugly kind. u suck mr!"
She snorts as she turns around and walks away.
in that moment you could hear Robotprins' heart break from miles away.
His whole world collapsed. every feeling of happiness and joy melts into a dark sludge that quickly turns into sharp knifes stabbing at the black lump that used to be his heart.
"STOP! DON'T GO! THIS CAN'T BE TRUE! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ALL A DREAM!"
He cries out after her, tears dripping down his cheeks.
She pays him no heed and keeps on walking like the prinsess part of her had all vanished and all that was left was an ice cold robot.
Robotprins collapses on the doorstep in despair an a puddle of his own tears.
And in a similar manner he continues to whimper for... let's say about a week or so. That should do it.
6. love beam conquers all
About a week or so later Ondman assesses that Robotprins has run out of tears and can't possibly grow any weaker and more pathetic. Now is the perfect time to strike and once and for all finally defeat Robotprins.
And this evil man is going to do it in the most painful way possible.
Death by ex-girlfriend!
Ondman gives the command to Prinssesrobot and on her way she goes to wipe the love of her life from the face of their mysterious planet. Robotprins wakes up. But he doesn't feel awake. He doesn't feel alive. Nothing feels real anymore because nothing matters. He sees the sun rising majestically over the mountain tops and it's light reflecting of the morning dew covering the meadows below it. It is a scenery so beautiful it would take anyone's breath away. But Robotprins is not anyone anymore. an empty shell of a man. A void. A black hole. Perhaps is it that he has completely lost the prins part of himself and is left a soulless automaton?
CRAAAASH!!! Who cares!? Someone just broke down the door with an uberhumanly force. It is of course Prinssesrobot. Robotprins who just a moment ago was nothing more than an emotionless puppet turns into a concentrated ball of despair. His eyes begins to well up.
"please just leave me alone. don't hurt me anymore. I can no longer take it."
He pleads on his bare knees.
"oh I will hurt you plenty, robotboy!" She says with wicked voice.
"actually, it's robotprins" he points out. Seems she had his name wrong this whole time. She doesn't care.
"sharrap!" she screams. "seems this will be even easier than ondman said." she snickers and punches Robotprins straight in the nose so he shoots through the brick wall of his house and far across the meadows. It hurts a lot. But still he feels relieved. He is in far less pain than he's been in for two weeks.
Whyz dis? Imma tella you. At the mention of Ondmans name Robotprins realizes he is the evildoer behind this whole thing. Somehow he has manipulated Prinssesrobot pure heart and turned her into a hateful creature that doesn't care for Robotprins or his cute butt at all. And that means that the real Prinssesrobot is still in there and that she still loves him. Oh the aching limbs are nothing compared to the joy Robotprins now feels in his heart. He is sure he can return his girlfriend back to her old self. With the power of LOVE!
oops. No time to be spacing out i joyous ecstacy because coming towards him is the silhouette of a reprogrammed version of a real cute robot babe and it's slowly growing bigger and bigger. With murder in her spellbound eyes she rushes across the meadow raising a fist to put an end to our hero. But our hero is well prepared. He forms his hands in the form of a heart a screams a the top of his lungs:
"LOOOOOOOOOOVE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!"
A powerful pink flavored light builds up between his two hands and quickly thereafter shoots towards Prinssesrobot in a massive pillar of light.
It hits her with great force and stops her right in her tracks. She screams a dreadful scream. Almost as if something wicked just left her body. The beam soon dies out and an unmistakable silence falls upon the meadow. And so does Prinssesrobot.
Robotprins quickly rushes up to her and grab her in his arms. She slowly opens her eyes and sees Robotprinses bruised face. She smiles. Robotprins smiles back. He knows. The nightmare is finally over.
"I am so sor..." Prinssesrobot tries to apologize for all the horrible things she's done to him, but just then Robotprins covers her lips with a gentle yet passionate kiss.
He knows it's not her fault. He is just happy they are finally back together and everything is going to be all right.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" someone who is not at all happy is Ondman who's been hiding in the bushes watching the drama unfold. He soon realizes that shouting and revealing his position was a huge mistake and utters a quiet "oops."
"just like the old times." Robotprins says suggestivly to his soulmate.
"let's do!" she answers without doubt.
Fear strikes the heart of Ondman as he sees the two coming towards him at supersonic speed and in perfect synchronization.
The next moment a double fisted punch hits Ondman's face with incredible force and his body is lifted off the ground and high up into the clouds until it turns into a tiny spark in the distance. The lovers look at each other after the spark has disappeared and burst into laughter. This is followed by a whole bunch of steaming hot love-making. but more about that in the adult rated sequel.... maybe.
7. see you again
So it all ended happily ever after I guess. or maybe not?
Apparently Prinssesrobot gets word that a new bad guy, called Buseboy, has appeared in her home country of Prinssesland and she has to go be all herionesque and rescue people and what not. You might think Robotprins could just go with her, but no can do. you see, he has booked laundry time this very day and is all out of underwear. He has no choice but to stay butt.. I mean behind.
They are sad to part, but know that they will see each other again one day.
Don't know where. Don't know how. They just know it in their hearts.
If they would've exchanged phone numbers this knowledge would actually have some logic behind it, but it's too late now. Prinssesrobot has already flown away into the distance. Let's hope they will meet again and make some more sweet, sweet love!
