Revenge 101
REVENGE 101
As Robotprins decided to revenge his parents and bring the evil Ondman to justice he realizes he is very new at this revenge stuff. Luckily he finds one of his dads old textbooks from when he studied revengeology, called
revenge 101. Robotprins studies the book meticulously and follows all of the chapters in his pursuit to avenge his parents. Here are some excerpts from the different chapters of the book.
Chapter 1 - Reaching your destination - evil castle
The first thing you have to do when starting your adventure of revenge is making your way to the stronghold of your nemesis (most likely a castle). Running, biking or hitchhiking are some means that are popular among many heroes. Be careful not to get lost.
Story 1
As Robotprins makes his way to the castle he is astounded by the beautiful and vast world around him. He decides that after he has defeated Ondman he will start traveling more to experience new cultures and broaden his mind. After some walking, swimming, mountain-climbing and bungy jumping he finally makes it all the way to Ondmans evil castle.
Chapter 2 - Sidekicks - a great asset
Every hero needs a sidekick. If not for fighting ability or moral support, then at least for some comic relief. You can find them pretty much everywhere. For the best bonding between hero and sidekick we recommend you rescue your sidekick from some kind of peril danger rather than just buying them at some random auction.
Story 2
On the first floor of the evil castle Ondman has his evil laboratory. As Robotprins enters the laboratory he is appauled by the sight of hundreds of canisters containing vicious and vile robot puddings that through Ondmans twisted experiments have come to life. The robot puddings were created by Ondmans wicked, though diligent, scientists for the commoners of Ondland to buy when they got hungry. But as they open the package, the ferocious robot puddings attacks the commoner and brain-washes them to obey Ondmans naughty orders. that is why all the people in Ondland are so evil and stuff. Anyways, among all the screaming and angry noises from the evil robot puddings Robotprins could hear laughter and a joyful racket from the end of the room. As he gets closer to the sound he find that something is lying happily in a dumpster. Upon closer examination he finds that this something is actually a robot pudding, but contrary to all the other robot puddings this one is an extremely happy and friendful one. This robot pudding is actually a failed experiment of the laboratory. As the robot pudding did not become evil and heinous, but happy and felicitous, it was regarded as nothing but a failure and was thrown away into the laboratory trash. Even so, the robot pudding was still in a good mood. Robotprins feels pity on the robot pudding and decides that this should be his new sidekick. The robot pudding might not be the best fighter, but he will definitely help Robotprins to keep his mood up during his travels. Robotprins gives the robot pudding the name of Robotpudding.
Chapter 3 - Beating up minions (oh yeah!!!)
If your enemy is any kind of respectable villain he is bound to have a legion of minions protecting him in his castle. Luckily they will most likely be quite weak and terrible at aiming. Should not be any problem for you, our hero!
Story 3
Ondman is indeed a respectable villain and as such he has tons of minons running around the hallways of his gargantuan castle. Robotprins is a mighty warrior and swiftly disposes of the minions. Bang! Boom! Zap! Robotprins kicks some serious minion butt as Robotpudding is cheering him on. Keep on fighting for justice, Robotprins!
Chapter 4 - Fika time
Don't forget to take a well deserved break from all the fighting every once in a while. Find a quiet and beautiful place to take a fika and just relax while you let your mind drift off to faraway places. Let your soul get filled up with peace and tranquility and shit. Fika is important for heroes like you!
Story 4
After a few hours of rampaging through the evil castle Robotprins gets weary and thirsty, as we all do after a good walloping of minions. Luckily for Robotprins he finds a cute little café in the middle of the castle.
This might come as a surprise for you, but not to anyone who knows Ondman as well as Robotprins does. You see, despite his wickedness and evil ways, there is nothing that Ondman loves better than a hot cup of espresso. Thus Ondman had this quaint little Italian café built inside his otherwise gloomy castle. Robotprins enters the café, orders a caffè macchiato and takes a good half an hour to just chill out and sip at his coofee while minions dressed up as Italian musicians play classic Italian café music. When Robotprins has finished his coffee he pays the tab, beats up all the fake italian minions in the café and continue towards Ondmans dark lair.
Chapter 5 - DEFEAT THE BOSS!!!!
Now is your time to do what you came all this way to do: DEFEAT THE BOSS!!!! But remember to not finish him of too quickly, even if he is a rather weak villian. What you want from a final fight is suspension. Preferably things shouldn't go toowell for the hero in the beginning. But just as the villain thinks he has got the hero trappedin a corner and is just going to finish him off, the hero should get a new burst of energy orinspiration or whatever that turns the tables in his favor. Then the hero can easilyclaim his victory and clumsily let the villain escape so they can fight another day.(if you have trouble defeating the villain look for his weak spot. This might just turn the fight around for you.)
Story 5
Upon entering Ondmans lair Robotprins gazes upon the malicious figure that is Ondman as he stands in the back of the room and it's all dramatic and stuff.
Robotprins speaks.
- I came here to avenge my parents. prepare to die!
Ondman replies with an evil laugh.
- oh, you silly boy. do you know who I am? I am Ondman. The personification of evil. You can never defeat me!!
Robotprins speaks again.
- Whatever. you are ugly and stupid and nobody likes you.
Upon hearing these mean words Ondmans appearance seemed to grow a little bit and his aura got even more wicked and frightful.
- Have at you, boy!
Ondman yells in his twisted, dark voice and lunges at Robotprins. A wild fight commences with heavy blows from both sides. Robotprins can't seem to be able to defeat Ondman as easily as he had wished for, which causes frustration and anger to grow in his heart.
- You fat, smelly pig! Why won't you die?!!
Robotprins screams out in desperation.
As the words leaves his mouth he sees ondman growing even stronger and eviler as if he was feeding of the negative energy from Robotprins. Now more powerful than before, Robotprins can no longer withstand Ondmans attacks and falls to the floor. Ondman slowly closes in on robotprins with a vile smile onhis foul face.
- I told you that you cannot defeat me. I am eviiiiiil!!!!!
Ondman shouts as he raises his sword. Now our hero is in a terrible pinch!
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But then something happens.
Robotpudding, who has been rather useless in this fight so far, jumps up to Ondman and kisses him on the cheek whilst laughing happily. Upon this joyful impact Ondman backs off and shudders frightfully. His evil aura seems to weaken as does his strength. Robotprins then realizes Ondmans weakness. In the same manner Ondman gets stronger by negativity and evilness, he gets weaker by positivity and goodness. This makes Robotprins set up a brand new strategy.
- You look very handsome today, mr Ondman.
Robotprins says kindly.
As expected, Ondman weakens even further when these words reaches his ears.
- No, please stop!
Ondman desperatly screams covering his ears with his dirty hands.
Now that Robotprins is sure his strategy is working there is no stopping him.
He starts cleaning Ondmans lair, giving him a footmassage and planting flowers in his stinking garden. For each of these good deeds Ondman gets weaker and weaker until he looks like a frail old man. Ondman is now in such a feeble state that it would be a piece of cake for Robotprins to defeat him, but Robotprins is so caught up in doing good deeds, which has replaced the tormenting spirit of vengance in his heart with a hopeful and harmonious feeling, that he forgets about Ondman and their fight. Ondman, now fragile as a flower, sees his chance to flee and slowly escapes through an open window. Only after Robotprins has made a complete makeover of the entire castle into a habitat of joy and peace he realizes that Ondman has escaped. However, Robotprins does not care. No longer does he seek revenge and he hopes that Ondman can turn from his evil ways wherever he has gone to. The people of Ondland, as well as Ondmans minions, are free from the evil hypnotization that Ondman has caused them and are now happy and content. Robotprins makes the now good castle his headquarters and changes the name of Ondland to Goodland which everyone in the land is very happy about. Robotpudding gets a tiny house for himself besides the castle. It is very cute. Happy times indeed!
Chapter 6 - Contemplation
Now that your quest is over it is time to contemplate on what you have accomplished. Did you set out on your quest for a just cause? Has the fact that you defeated the evil boss slaked your thirst for vengance? Why do we humans crave vengence so much? Does it really change anything? Think about it. Think like a man.
Story 6
As Robotprins contemplates his doings he remembers why he went on this mission of vengence in the first place. It was because of the killings of his parents and it makes him sad to remember that they are gone. But at the same time he is proud they were his parents and for what they did for both Robotland and Prinsland, even though it cost them their lifes. Although Ondman escaped, Robotprins vengeful spirit has vanished and in its place is a sense of peace and happiness. Furthermore, in his quest Robotprins made, for everyone who has been tormented by the evil Ondman, a tremendously good deed. The revenge was a great success!
